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there's so much to do these days i'm getting tired of it all. i feel like brainwashing myself so that i can un-know everything, and just be ignorant, like a child. just saw a little kid after i crossed the road to my block. i dun really knoe if the child's a he or she, my guess is she i dunno y. well the child is wearing shorts and have short hair so i dunno. anyways, she was jumping on the stairs, her ma or someone looking over her. i walked past them, between them. then the child called out jie jie. i turned and saw her smiling at me and kept calling me jie jie haha i said hello den bye den she waved bye to me. so cute and innocent. i wonder wat will happen to her ten years down the road. life and the world will not be as simple. i dunno.
got irritated by my ma again. she dun let me go jamming but want me to study test. can't destress. she can't keep promises. just now when i told her she said okay den she came just now to say no. i'm like fucking hell can't i relax for a while. so much things have gone on these days i'm lost. i dunno wat to do. it's like one of the lowest point where everything is weird and bad i just feel like that. and it is only the starting of third month. so much have gone on. it's getting frustrating and tiring. i'm back to the sad point of my life again. i'm getting mixed emotions in myself. i dunno wat i'm exactly feeling.
i'm numbed again.