Grey world

nothing's black and white all the time. just grey. i dunno what i'm talking about, but just feel that one cannot just stay in one colour.

living life like a dream

somehow when u belonged to somewhere, u feel loved, wanted, happier... i never knew i can feel as happy as now... i must admit i wasn't ever really happy in sec sch (sad to say but yah... until maybe the last part of sec 4??? i dunno). wat happened in sec sch it's a blur... i'll try not to think abt it cos i can't be sure what the hell had happened... things that are happening are more clear to me now, with all the humans, friends, darlings and dears i've been with, maybe cos i'm more involved. if u knoe wat i mean. the matters seemed related to u becos of who's involved who often happens to be ur close frens. in many many many ways sometimes i'm not sure myself... i'm always blur, living life like a dream... sometimes everything looks unreal, and fake, but it really is the reality... or is it not? what the hell is reality? what if after all these years there isn't such a thing called reality? maybe it is still far away, until the day i die. i'm making things complicated for myself i dunno why. punk must be crazy. i often think two kinds of thoughts. i'll always have a devil and an angel in me trying make me decide on the right path. it wasn't easy. i'm tearing myself apart, i'm stressing myself. but if, there isn't all these stress and self-mutilation, i'll be a very very stupid and boring person. (see, the devil and angel in me fighting again)
okay i think i better sleep now... actually i just want to convey the message tt i feel lucky and blessed now. la la la

(INDEPENDENCE DAY)