it's about work too

unlike peggy, i can only do things like blogging after work. and if blogging is about work, i doubt i should do that in full view to anybody walking around. msn is almost risky. listening to music is also risky. these things that keep me alive and happy at work are risky. i learned to find reasons to walk around more often. proud to do so. but i believe i get ppl staring and wondering if i'm doing my work at all.

politics in office too. human and human. i shall just listen. politics about the office too. how interestingly things is going around the place. and i discovered my own view about things and people too. but the everybody will just go on as if nothing is wrong. with a smile too.

i'm just doing intern for 5 weeks. how come i feel like there's so many things i seemed to need to do? things didn't go on so well for the informal interviews as i would expect, couldn't find as much potential interviewee as i seemed to have searched for all the possible associations that's around, i've to do an audition which i seemed to be left hanging, people too busy to confirm stuff with me, things i didn't know until someone else tell me when i was supposed to be in charged of it (can't blame also cos she oversees me but i'm absolutely fine with her), unreplied emails that makes me wonder if those associations are still alive, empty promises zero replies, and some others which i can't remember what.

if don't want trouble to look for potential interviewees, then just reply back and tell me that, so that i don't have to keep wondering and waiting until i finish my internship. i open google everyday and type in keywords and get useless sites in return. they never reply. no matter how wonderful they talk about their association, they never reply.

i'm disliking pre-production more and more. it makes me love the little shoots that i had on tuesday and wednesday, and dislike the thursday that i came in for work. the shoot was tiring and frustrating at first, but at least i was doing something i enjoy, even though things did fuck up on my side but was able to resolve. maybe it's just pre-pro, or maybe it's just the work i'm being assigned, it wasn't fun at all.

and some other smallest things that adds on to the stuff i have to worry about. and recently the way certain things are done that makes me wonder more. it adds up, i cannot pin-point exactly what though. (pls dun be too sensitive abt the above 2 sentences. if your conscience is clear, then it's surely not you.) all the small things that adds up. feel free to clarify with me first. never fucking assume. i hate that.

it's been such a long time since i watched the martial arts serial. i'm missing it more and more. and it's been such a long time since i played guitar. i can't seemed to find the time to find ernie ball super slinky. i'm seriously longing for some break. i think i need some love. hahaha

no jokes - fact (HHH, 0:38)

suddenly i'm blogging. there dun seemed to be much going on ard me other than work. and work revolves ard researching. and while researching, it's msn chats and itunes. plus sending out loads of emails that will require patience for a reply. and phonecalls. morning phone calls to ppl seemed to be a curse for me. nothing good will come out from those morning phone calls. occasionally running out for delivery services.

and once, a stroll to marina sqaure after alighting too early, not without walking past the high court where millions of policemen are loitering ard, holding onto rifles. no eye contact. dun maintain eye contact with them. they might think you are looking at them suspiciously in every kind of eye contact and dun be surprised if they "shoot you down". as i walked past them i was justing waiting for the moment where one of them will swing his rifle into my path.

my path. also the path of neo. other than it being my path, or Neo (keanu reeves) path, or anything else, it's also a path of new. gonna watch matrix later at 7:30.

so then as i crossed the road, i was also waiting for the moment where they will come running after me and charge me for crossing the road illegally. but hell, they blocked the traffic light path, there's no access to the lights. i got across the road. no poundering footsteps behind me. i was glad. the heaviness lifted off. i swear it wasn't easy breathing as you walk through them. the air was different in a way. maybe it's because there's too many of them. and it was a lonely pavement.

strategic position. tt's where i'm sitting in the office. i'd like to believe i'm sitting in the middle of the whole office. but then again there don't seemed to be any other places that i can take. the boss office is right in front of me. and the office is made of glass. ie he can see me and the rest of the office. i can't see the face of the other boss cos she is blocked by a small piece of wood that was part of the design. i can't see her = she can't see me. the producer whom i was doing researching for is directly behind me. my laptop is positioned in the riskiest position. she's able to see what i'm doing. she's so near me that she can tap on my shoulder when i didn't hear her calling out for me. well, i had earphones stuck in my ear tt's why. so many a times i can't hear much.

the rubbish bin is at my feet. it stinks. seriously stinks esp over the weekend if ppl choose to eat dumplings and hor fun in the office. and the water cooler is behind me. i just need to twist around to drink from it. so everybody needs to access to these points every day. since the cooler is behind me, everybody have a clear view of my laptop screen as they fill their cups or bottles. everybody and i mean everybody. the bosses esp.

but i guess it wasn't all that bad cos the ppl there are friendly. some of us shared the same "hardships". heh heh.

jingle jangle